Shame comes at us from many different directions — families of origin, the guilt-tripping religious world, the competitive marketplace, the collective consciousness itself. I know of very few people who move through the world with a healthy sense of self, with a real appreciation for their divinity and inherent magnificence.
And the spiritual bypass movement just makes things worse for those who are seeking answers, bashing the ego in its entirety, repressing the shadow in the name of a version of enlightenment that is more self-avoidant than expansive, and even characterizing the body as spiritually sub-standard, as though the divine made a mistake putting us in human form.
This cycle is often perpetuated by the artificial-forgiveness community, who diminish those who dare to work on their unresolved feelings by telling them that their feelings are an illusion, their experiences are mischaracterized, their stories tiresome. Just jump out of your process and forgive your wrongdoers — put their process ahead of even your own.
Levels and levels of madness, that leave spiritual seekers entirely confused about the value of healing the “pain body” and elevating the self-concept. Let’s get this straight — Shame is not an illusion. Self-loathing is not an illusion. Our stories are not illusions. Abuse and neglect are not illusions. And the need to heal our hearts and elevate our self-concepts is essential to healthy functioning. Pretending things aren’t real doesn’t make them go away. Facing them does.