Going through a dark night of the soul.

Okay so I’m not posting a reading tonight because honestly I’m having a hard time right now dealing with my emotions, specifically the negative ones. Everything right now seems to be pushing my buttons and I’m ready to scream but can’t as I don’t live alone. I feel like I’m always swallowing my anger and frustration and this is also negatively affecting my own health. Along with that I also feel like I’m questioning everything about my spiritual life.

In this moment I find myself moving away from some “spiritual” things like Twin Flames. God knows I have done so much research on the subject, I have subscribed to sites that talk about Twin Flames, I have had readings done myself, I have been told this one is my Twin Flame and then that changed and someone else was now my Twin Flame, but who the heck knows??? I was thinking to myself that I have had a few Tarot readings done for me, even before I knew about Twin Flames, and when I look back, not one of them has come true, not even one thing I was told! Now I do understand that what readers see is a potential for the future, but out of the dozen or so I have had done, don’t you think someone would have gotten it right?

When it comes to the Twin Flame phenomena, I have decided that most of it is hype. I know too many people who have put their lives on hold waiting for their Twin Flame to wake up and smell the coffee and come to them. Some have been waiting a years for this. Every post says it’s about to happen, any day now, be ready. Well it’s almost 9 years for me and I know others who have been at this a lot longer. So my question is, have we all given away our power?? Here is where all this stuff on Twin Flames originated from:

Greek philosopher Aristotle said: “Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” According to Greek legend, by the story based on mythology written by Aristotle’s mentor, Plato in his work, Symposium, humans originally were half male and half female. After conspiring to climb Mount Olympus, Zeus ordered them cut in half. Since that day, every human spends their life searching for their other half.

Based on this, a few sentences, this whole phenomenon of Twin Flames was created. From most of what I have read, not all Twins have incarnated on this planet. It was originally thought that one Twin would have a physical life and the other would remain in spirit to act as a guide and now here we all are searching for our Twin Flames. I remember reading in one of Steve Rother’s channelings of The Group that Twin Flames were never meant to meet on this planet even if they were both here. So again who is right? There is so much hype based around the idea of our “other half” and so many of us are missing the opportunity of having a very loving and satisfying relationship with an ideal partner because we are waiting on our elusive Twin Flame.

Are we deluding ourselves into thinking that someone we believe we love and who we believe is our Twin Flame is going to come running to us one of these days and tell us how sorry they are for the misery they have put us through? And people are profiting from our pain! Now there are so many Twin Flame coaches and readers out there who all promise that if you follow their advice, you and your Twin will magically come into union. In my mind, because I have experienced this first hand, it’s mostly BS.

I have made a decision for myself and I am choosing not to be part of this anymore. Sometimes it feels like I have sold my soul in the name of Twin Flames. I’m done waiting for some magical time to arrive when all Twins are going to wake up and go running to their partner. Chances are it’s not going to happen. If this hurts some of you, then I’m sorry but perhaps it’s time to look at the bitter truth, we are fooling ourselves by jumping on this band wagon while life passes us by.

Also over the past couple of years I have been relying on pendulums to get answers to some questions regarding my Twin and other things, and I have tried to follow what I get, but then after a week or so I will ask the same questions and get different answers! So what is right and what is wrong? How do we know? I hear people say “my guides said this or that” and I think to myself “why the heck can’t I hear my guides?” I mean yes now and then something will come through that has to be from Spirit because there is no other way to explain it, but for the most part I always feel like I’m fumbling around in the dark and not sure what is truth and what is fiction. Some will say that their Higher Self told them this person was their Twin Flame. Great but I can’t seem to hear my Higher Self either. I must be a bit slow I figure, not as in tune with Spirit as I would like to be, and I can’t seem to make that connection as hard as I have tried.

So I guess I’m just questioning everything right now. I’m beginning to think those who say I’m living in a fantasy world may be right. Perhaps it’s time to take my head out of the clouds and live in this reality. A scary thought really because I’m not sure I have lived in this reality till now. I’m just tired of waiting for things that may never happen. As Kryon says, change happens slowly and this “flash” of energy that some are expecting that will change everyone in an instant, is not going to happen. And so I’m beginning to think that at 59 years of age, it might be time to come down to earth and live before I die.

Take care everyone and I will be back with the readings when I get my own life figured out.

6 thoughts on “Going through a dark night of the soul.

    • Thank you for saying that you are experiencing something similar, it does help to know that others are feeling the same way. It is likely the energies causing this but it is still hard. Take care Miranda


  1. I absolutely LOVE and appreciate your honesty! I can relate to you more than you know and I have a feeling there are a greater number of people that do than those that don’t. I feel like I am a very sensitive person and I would wonder why can’t I hear my spirit guides or this or that… I have found myself saying it’s crap. I have my “gut feeling” and that’s what I listen to. I can go on and on about your email and I’m sure you are receiving a ton of them so I’ll keep it short – but THANK YOU for being honest with how you feel! I am 100% in agreement with you and what you have said. It’s nice to know there is someone that feels just like I do.

    I hope you have a good day and know that you made someone feel relieved.

    LaReen J Ramirez


    • Thank you for sharing LaReen! Yes there are others who are saying that they are experiencing something similar. Maybe it’s just the energies right now but whatever it is I’m not liking it, lol. Oh and by the way, the time stamp on your comment is 11:11! Take care!


  2. dearest Carolyn,
    we all know that everything is moving at lightning speed right now. was it you who said “the earth is recalibrating?” i think that’s why many of us are questioning our current belief systems or paradigms as many call tham. i think you may get a different answer from your pendulum on different days because you are different in each moment and the pendulum is just reflecting your current inner-knowing back to you. people that are a true match for you in all areas of your life are already on the way because you have requested it. they will appear at the exact right time when you are in true alignment with them and what you want them to be. you wouldn’t want them to wait for you to appear, right? then everybody would just be sitting around waiting (lol.) do you happen to meditate? just close your eyes and sit with yourself. yes, focus on your breathing to start. thoughts and feelings will come in. you will be shown many things because you are taking care of yourself in the silence. pick a time that feels right to you to do the meditation and commit to doing it every day. (20 minutes if possible is really good.) it’s amazing how things can become clearer with this simple practice. also getting out in nature and physical exercise can be quite helpful. put your hands on your heart whenever you are questioning anything and see how it feels. it’s so easy for us humans to be analytical with our brains. but our hearts are always the best guide. no waiting for things to happen. go out and create whatever rocks your boat. a friend taught me to say “and I love it” after every feeling I might have. (e.g. I’m feeling stressed and I love it.) that statement helps calm us down and brings us back to the present moment where we can start sorting it out. solutions will emerge. i hope you are proud of yourself for knowing it’s time to take care of Carolyn first. i am putting you in the center of my healing circle and blessing you with many miracle lovedrop hearts of all colors. many hugs to you dear lady.


    • Sorry for the delay in replying to your comment Florencia! Thank you for your advice and for putting me in your healing circle, I appreciate your kind words and thoughts. There is much going on inside each of us as we move into these new energies and so I just had to ride it out for a couple of days and try not to do too much damage. I tend to clear out a lot of stuff, physically, when I go through these things, lol, and not always in a good way, however I think I managed to only get rid of things that no longer served me or who I’m becoming so not to worry. But thanks again!



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